


Enigmatic Easter Bunny

by huffellepuff



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, and it's canon compliant, cute semi-fluff was the goal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 20:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11021418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huffellepuff/pseuds/huffellepuff
Summary: The Nine-Nine does a Secret Santa of sorts, and Jake gets Amy.Takes place very shortly before 2x21, Det. Dave Majors.





	Enigmatic Easter Bunny

**Author's Note:**

> I worked somewhat loosely off of the following prompt (from I can't remember who, sorry!) and also kind of disregarded the "secret" part of "secret santa" almost entirely:
> 
> THE KIDS OF B99 HAVE A SECRET SANTA THING GOING AND JAKE GETS AMY RIGHT BEFORE THEY START DATING FOR REAL, SO HE WANTS TO IMPRESS HER BUT HE HAS NO MONEY AND NO TIME SO HE HAS TO GET CREATIVE
> 
> Loads of thanks to ninarosario, startofamoment, and narniantimelady on tumblr for helping me!

“You want to do a Secret Santa? In April?” Amy asked skeptically. 

“It’s not Secret Santa, Amy, it’s Enigmatic Easter Bunny,” Charles said, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, Amy,” Jake said with a smirk. “Come on, who hasn’t heard of Enigmatic Easter Bunny?”

She glared at him, and he instantly felt all warm and fuzzy inside. If he weren’t already so used to it, it would be alarming how much even a glare from her affected him.

“Did Captain Holt approve it? Last time we did something like this, Rosa almost killed Hitchcock,” Amy reminded them.

Jake shrugged. “That happens every week anyway.”

“But yes, Holt did approve it. I even convinced him that it’d be good for morale if he did it too,” Charles said.

Jake had to stifle a laugh as Amy’s entire demeanor changed. “Holt is participating?!”

“Yes indeedy he is. Now, everyone else has drawn names, so here’s the last one for you,” Charles said, pushing the hat with only one strip of paper at her. 

“Wait - “ Jake began to protest until a warning look from Charles shut him up.

Amy didn’t notice the interaction and instead seemed to be focusing all of her energy on willing that last name to be Holt’s. She broke out into a grin as she read the paper in her hand.

“What’s the spending limit?” she asked, unable to stop herself herself from bouncing up and down a little.

“It’s $25,” Jake said. She wrinkled her nose in disappointment, so he added. “The limit was Holt’s suggestion.”

“In that case, I’ve got a lot of work to do.” She turned and walked back to her desk with an intense look on her face.

“Okay, Jakey, now you pick,” Charles said, holding out the hat - now with a new slip of paper - and waggling his eyebrows.

He shot Charles a wary look before grabbing the paper that, of course, had Amy’s name on it.

“Is it really in the spirit of Enigmatic Easter Bunny to assign who gets who?” 

“When it’s in the name of love? Absolutely.” He grinned. “See, now you can find a gift that is so romantic she’ll have to realize she loves you back. What’re you gonna get her?”

“Will you quit it with that talk?” He glanced behind him and was relieved to see that Amy was too absorbed in her gift research to notice them. “And I don’t _know_ what I’m gonna get her, thanks for the pressure.”

“You got this,” Charles said, winking before walking away. 

 

\---

 

“I don’t got this,” Jake muttered to himself as he looked at various store fronts after work. Whatever Charles said, he couldn’t actually get her something romantic for a workplace gift exchange. It wouldn’t be sweet, it’d be weird and pushy and so not Amy anyway. He needed to get her like, an amazing binder or something.

Without fully realizing where he had been walking, he found himself in front of Amy’s favorite stationary store. He knew it was her favorite because whenever they worked a case anywhere near it, she would find a reason to go in. There _had_ to be something there she’d love.

He began to reach for the door but ended up nearly being knocked over by it instead.

“Sorry!” a familiar voice said, sounding mortified. “Oh, Jake? What are you doing here?”

“Amy!” he said, jumping back and grinning. He hoped he didn’t look too conspicuous. “I was just... looking to buy some new pens.”

She tilted her head in confusion, something he found entirely too endearing. “Pens? I thought you got all of your pens from banks and doctors’ offices. Why buy a pen when you can get them for free, that’s what you said, right?”

“You know very well I haven’t been into a doctor’s office in years,” he said, still touched that she remembered that about him. “And all the banks are closed, and this place was closer than Staples, and I remembered that you always wanted to go here, so, uh, I figured it would be a good place, to, um, get pens.”

“It’s a _great_ place to get pens. They just got in the new Montblanc and it’s _beautiful_ ,” she said, turning back towards the store. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

He followed her in, psyched that he lucked into a reconnaissance mission. At least, psyched until she led him to a section where the average price was three times the enigmatic easter bunny budget.

“Now, here, this one is a great pen for beginners…” she said, pointing to one for the low price of $48.

“Um, are there any, like, regular pens here? Maybe ones worth less than a kidney?” 

“The black market kidney level pens are over there,” she said, smirking as she pointed to a locked cabinet behind the counter. “But no, they don’t really sell Bic pens here.”

“Is there _anything_ in this store for under $20?” he asked, hoping it wasn’t too obvious why he was asking.

“No, not really.” There was a glint in her eye as she spoke. “Unless you’ve got coupons or something.”

“Maybe I should just go to Staples after all…” 

“There’s one only two blocks from here,” she said. “I can go with you, if you want.”

“Nah, I’ll find it. Thanks Ames.” He waved as he left the shop, trying not to let disappointment show on his face. 

 

\---

 

By the following morning, Jake had decided that if all else failed, a gift card to her favorite coffee place would work. It was hardly the romantic gesture that Charles had convinced him he should do, but that was probably a good thing. Since when had Charles provided any useful romantic advice, anyway?

No, $25 worth of caffeine and a good coffee pun would be more than suitable for a secret santa present. His all consuming crush on Amy would just have to chill. Or, you know, he’d have to grow up and actually ask her out instead of banking on a gift making her fall in love with him. 

As he walked to his desk, he found Amy with her nose buried in her planner. “Mornin’.” 

“Mmph,” she replied without looking up. She paused from her rapid writing and groaned. “Ugh.”

“Talkative today, I see,” he said with a laugh, causing her to look up at him. She had a small streak of blue ink on her nose, and Jake had to resist the temptation to reach out and wipe it off for her. Instead, he gestured to his own nose. “Uh, you’ve got a little something…”

She ignored him. “I am going to set this stupid planner on fire. It doesn’t have nearly enough room, how is anyone supposed to stay organized with only thirty minute increments on their schedule?”

“It’s completely absurd,” he deadpanned.

“Right?! The people at Day Runner clearly don’t know what they’re doing…” She sighed.

“Still regretting not buying that Super Deluxe Neurotic 360 planner or whatever?”

“Limited Edition Deluxe Annual Planner,” she corrected him automatically. “And it’s not that I didn’t buy it, it’s that I got _waitlisted_ because I didn’t sign up early enough. I’ve never been waitlisted in my _life_.”

“I can’t believe you got waitlisted for a _planner_.” 

“Well, it was around the time you went undercover, everything was kind of... weird.” She shifted uncomfortably before going on. “But I’ve already pre-ordered next year’s, I’m never making _that_ mistake again.”

He couldn’t help but smile, both at the reminder that she had liked him back (at least at some point) and just what a _nerd_ she was (and he loved it). As he mused on this, an idea occurred to him - maybe he could find that ridiculous planner online. He was a pro at finding random crap to buy, there had to be _someone_ selling theirs. He pulled out his phone and started searching.

 

\---

 

One week and many, many hours of Googling later, Jake had the massive, fancy planner in his hands. He was able to find a very unpleasant man in a Facebook barter group that thankfully had no idea how much these things were worth (Jake had looked them up, and they were _well_ over the enigmatic easter bunny price cap). He got it in exchange for a Mighty Ducks jersey - and it wasn’t even an original. His original jersey was safe at his mom’s house where it belonged.

He put the 10lb nerd tome in a giant box to make it less obvious and wrapped it in the most old lady, doily-est wrapping paper he could find. It barely fit in the absurdly large Easter basket Charles had put up in lieu of a traditional Secret Santa Christmas tree, but oh well. 

When it was finally time for the exchange, he couldn’t help but feel nervous. There was no real reason she wouldn’t like it, but what if she thought it was weird? Like, weird that he remembered it? Or, god, what if he got the _wrong one_? She’d probably appreciate the effort, but he’d recognize her disappointed face immediately - he was well acquainted with that expression already. Fortunately, watching his colleagues’ reactions to their gifts was distracting enough to keep him from worrying _too_ much. It was hard to focus on anything else when Terry was crying over a case of Icelandic yogurt or Rosa was barely restraining herself from strangling Scully. 

And then, of course, there was Amy nearly falling out of her chair in excitement as Holt unwrapped his present. 

“A Waterman Expert?” Holt asked, the slightest amount of surprise registering on his face. 

“I thought a spare pen might be nice, just in case,” she said, beaming at him.

“But Santiago, the price limit was only $25. This is easily a $100 pen.” 

Jake was surprised to see that Amy was still beaming, despite Holt having called her out on yet another attempt at inappropriate gifts.

“Coupons! I didn’t break any rules this time, I just shopped sales and coupons! I’m kind of a badass at couponing.”

“That is…” Holt began, hesitating briefly before smiling. “Impressive. Perhaps at a later date you could assist me in learning how to best use coupons, Santiago. It has never been my strongsuit.”

Amy looked like she had just won the lottery and was clearly trying to hold back a happy dance. She tried to compose herself but failed pretty miserably. “Yes, definitely! I mean, sure, cool, that sounds pretty chill, man. I mean, sir.”

In a way, he was glad that Amy had given her gift to Holt first - there was no way his dumb planner could beat her mentor asking for help, so the pressure was kind of off now. He handed the giant box to her and hoped for the best.

“Oof, it’s heavy.” He watched her carefully as she opened the box and saw her face go from curious to oddly blank. She looked up at him with wide eyes. “Jake, is this…?”

“A super deluxe whatever the hell it’s called planner, complete with color coded tabs, more world maps than you could possibly ever need, and ten minute increments? Why yes, yes it is,” he answered confidently. As she continued to stare at him in silence, though, his confidence began to wane. “I mean, I know you’re not a big fan of your current planner, and I remember you mentioning this, and I know you’ve already filled out that planner but like I kind of figured - ”

“Jake, shut up,” she interrupted, breaking out into a wide grin. “It’s perfect.”

“ - that redoing the planner would be one of the best parts,” he finished before processing what she said. “Wait, so you like it?”

“Of course I do! It is exactly the one I wanted, I can’t believe you remembered! Or that you managed to _find_ one.”

“I’ve got some pretty amazing Google-fu skills,” he said, shrugging. 

She tucked her hair behind her ears and gave him a small smile that somehow outshined her grin from moments ago. “Thank you, Jake. It means a lot to me that you remembered.”

His heart did that flippity-floppy thing it always did when she smiled at him, and he hoped it didn’t show on his face. “No problem, Ames.”

He held her gaze until the sound of someone clearing their throat brought him out of the moment.

“ _Anyway_ ,” Gina said, shooting Jake a look that clearly said they’d be talking later. “Now where’s the booze? If this is basically a Christmas party, I expect some booze.”

Conversation began around them again as they discussed which alcoholic beverages would be most appropriate for Easter time, and Jake’s eyes returned to Amy. 

“I’m gonna go fill this baby out,” she said, standing up abruptly. “You were totally right about redoing my planner being the best part. I’ve figured out a much better color coding system since I did my last one.”

“Good call. I look forward to teasing you about it soon.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sounds about right. Thanks again, Jake.”

“You’re welcome.”

He watched her walk back to her desk, glad to know he was at least somewhat responsible for the little extra bounce in her step. It wasn’t exactly the romantic success Charles had talked up, but he’d take what he could get.

**Author's Note:**

> find me at [amaliabalash.tumblr.com](http://amaliabalash.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
